“All the Lonely people where do they all come from” Lennon/Mc Cartney

My late Mum said “Alan soon the world will be full of lonely people in bedsits with virtual friends” and she lamented the fact that people are losing their simple social skills as we are raising children glued to tablets who play outside the least of any generation before them. A frightening statistic that came to light recently was only 2 out of all ten children have ever climbed a tree!

Sure the digital revolution has made our lives better in so many ways, bit we have to try to maintain the balance between talking to people face to face and texting your friend who is just next to you on the coach!

We are seeing more and more marriages through online dating sites and people are meeting more and more online due to many factors like woman going out to work more, less babies being born every generation since the sixties.

The demographic came to light in a recent seminar I attended about recruitment and how companies must start to become more appealing to candidates as the number of candidates has fell so much since the eighties that is becoming more of a sellers-market as candidates are really cherry picking who they want to work for and companies have little choice, you really can’t get the staff anymore.

So with fewer single people to pick from, what can we do about all the lonely people? How can you optimise your chances of finding the right person online I will start a new catch-phrase right here today: Partner finding optimisation (PFO).

As the leading social media marketing consultant in Bangkok I may be able to give you all few tips for PFO:

For the ladies

Full body shot image of you on Facebook, preferably in a modest dress, work suit looks too formal, and Bikini or underwear screams..well you know! Post an image taken within the last few months, shallow maybe, but men see the body first, and if we fancy you from the outset that’s the start of a beautiful relationship. Who knows what makes certain people be attracted to certain people, I leared later in life that if you can love her with the lights on, you are on to a winner!

 However with the millions of single girls on Facebook it’s really a challenge to get the attention, and you don’t want to blow it all when you can see his disappointment as he was hoping to meet a twenty five year old 50kg girl (because you posted photos of yourself just after graduation in 1995) and meets a forty something Mum of five who is now 70 kgs! Give him an honest representation of your appearance first, it may take you a bit longer to find someone but it will be worth it in the end.

Hey don’t get me wrong, there are as many men looking for the forty five year old with kids as there are looking for the skinny twenty five year old, what I am saying is he won’t appreciate the deception!

As popular as you are;  The photos of you online with your twenty male friends at RCA dancing the night away won’t help you find too many decent men online, the sexes differ greatly on this one; woman see other woman as a challenge but men see it as a no-go.

Photos of your children on your profile photo or home page won’t help you. It makes you look desperate, sure tell him as soon as you can you have children and how many, and he, if he’s the right one will love your children as much as you, but it’s not really a first date conversation topic to spend the whole night talking about your kids, same online, it’s you he wants to know about first!

For the men

Close up of your face smiling preferably! You will be shocked to learn how much the fairer sex can know about you instantly from your wrinkles!

Your profile should tell her as much  about you personally, without telling a hacker your pin number and how much you have in the bank.

Facebook has a lot of ways you can appeal to woman in the about section you can have mini blogs in the notes section about you where you can tell people more about yourself that woman would find interesting.

No photos of your ex-wife or images of you with all your ex-girlfriends, it screams “I can’t let go, and you will be sharing me with these woman”

Both sexes should take some time to add their interests, music, books, food etc.  Sure it’s nice for the guys to show your feminine side and admit to being a Belieber, but that’s best admitted after a few dates when she is quite sure of your masculinity!

If you are a die-hard smoker tell people in your profile or that could be your undoing as he runs off with someone inside the pub as you are always outside!

A  tip for my lovely Thai ladies who are quite interested in the foreign men, please read the guys profile first and try to find something he has said he is interested in, and then create conversation around that a:

“Hi I see you like the Eagles, my favourite band”

Is so much more effective than just “HI WHAT YOUR NAME”

They seem surprised when I reply with “Same name on my profile!”

That’s not a language issue that’s a ‘you can’t be bothered to find out something about me first’ issue and that makes me think poorly of you!

Last but not least when you do find a nice chap online he certainly won’t mind at all meeting you the first time with a friend or two, if he insists on seeing you alone, then always go to a very public place, safety first!

Prove my Mum wrong and let’s have some more love in this world

Peace Alan